Wednesday, February 28
Friday, March 02
Sunday, March 04
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Thursday, March 08
Saturday, March 10
Sunday, March 11
Tuesday, March 13
Thursday, March 15
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Bituwin - image

Jeremiah 29:11. Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster,to give you a future and a hope.

Revamping my BLog

Hmmm.. suddenly i have the urge to change the logo of my life at this critical situation. Today i was chatting with pokemon, i felt so damn stressed. I have been a worm for the past few days. Damn pissed with myself. I have decided to go to np to study from mon to fri. When it reaches april, i will go full blast to sat as well. Trust me, time really flies when you least expect.

I have become so "numb" that i cant feel anything. That is bad. Hmm. I have not been sleeping well. I have been dreaming since after prelims (PS: dreaming is not good. YOu need to fall into deep sleep in order for your body to fully recharge.This is a scientific fact). One thing i dont know why i am feeling this way, my pessismism devil always haunts me by whispering into my ears " it doesnt even matter how hard you try". When i try to hold on time, it slips and fall apart. I try so hard to push myself to study and get so far only to hit the gym.

I was confiding to pf that i am too damn harsh and critical of myself. I cannot fully enjoy my birthday celebrations. Like there is something bothering and holding me back. Guilt seems to consume me. I envy her laid back attitude.Sometimes you need to unwind and forget completely the stressful situation. At least she can relaz and stay at ease. She thought that i was being sarcastic. Well, i am not. I am too wounded up like a clock. A spring that is rapidly losing its elasticity. I am very competitive in nature. I like to beat myself. Sianz. Mad rt?

While i was on the way home, a wave of panic hit me. March is coming to an end. Shiok lor.I am still clueless on my preparation. What should i do? Seeds of Doubts sprouting in my heart, winding around my brain.I am so uptight. Now the pressure is constantly fuelled by my fear. There is a phrase floating in my mind. "it is either you sink or swim" It is like paranoid looking over my back. It is like a whirlwind inside of my head. It is like i cant stop and i am hearing devil voices within. I am not going mad. Just that i am slowly sucumbing to my pressure if i fail to cope it. I took at deep breath and stare blankly to block everything. Hai. Why do my mental self likes to torture me sia?

When i reached home, i saw my brother lying comfortably in our parent's room. We started to push and shove like 2 lions clawing each other. Then he was making pizza. There are only 2 reasons why he will do it. One, i begged him to do it. The other is he is trying to woo the 3rd floor mui mui. It revolves around women. At least i forget the tense stuff for a brief moment. FInally will have the damn haircut tomo, to de stress myself. haha.

3/23/2007 07:59:00 am ·