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You can mail me at:
zhuangxuefang@yahoo.com
Wednesday, February 28
Friday, March 02 Sunday, March 04 Monday, March 05 Tuesday, March 06 Wednesday, March 07 Thursday, March 08 Saturday, March 10 Sunday, March 11 Tuesday, March 13 Thursday, March 15 Wednesday, March 21 Friday, March 23 Monday, March 26 Wednesday, March 28 Thursday, March 29 Saturday, March 31 Sunday, April 01 Monday, April 02 Wednesday, April 04 Thursday, April 05 Friday, April 06 Saturday, April 07 Monday, April 09 Tuesday, April 10 Thursday, April 12 Friday, April 13 Saturday, April 14 Tuesday, April 17 Wednesday, April 18 Thursday, April 19 Friday, April 27 Friday, May 04 Monday, May 21 Saturday, May 26 Monday, May 28 Friday, June 01 Saturday, June 02 Thursday, June 07 Sunday, June 10 Friday, June 15 Saturday, June 16 Monday, June 18 Wednesday, June 20 Thursday, June 21 Friday, June 22 Sunday, June 24 Monday, June 25 Tuesday, June 26 Sunday, July 01 Wednesday, July 04 Sunday, July 15 Saturday, July 21 Monday, July 23 Tuesday, July 24 Sunday, July 29 Thursday, August 02 Friday, August 03 Monday, August 06 Monday, August 13 Saturday, August 18 Saturday, August 25 Saturday, September 08 Saturday, September 15 Monday, October 22 Wednesday, October 24 Thursday, October 25 Monday, November 05 Thursday, November 08 Monday, November 12 Sunday, November 18 Thursday, November 22 Friday, November 23 Sunday, November 25 Friday, December 07 Monday, December 10 Thursday, December 13 Monday, December 17 Tuesday, December 25 Wednesday, December 26 Sunday, December 30 Monday, December 31 Thursday, January 31 Monday, February 11 Monday, February 18 Sunday, April 13 Monday, April 21 Tuesday, April 22 Monday, April 28 Monday, May 19 Thursday, June 05 Tuesday, June 17 Sunday, June 22 Friday, June 27 Monday, June 30 Tuesday, July 01 Friday, July 18 Friday, July 25 Sunday, July 27 Wednesday, August 06 Thursday, August 07 Friday, August 08 Tuesday, August 12 Thursday, August 14 Friday, August 15 Saturday, August 16 Tuesday, August 19 Thursday, August 21 Saturday, August 23 Monday, September 15 Tuesday, October 07 Saturday, October 11 Tuesday, October 14 Wednesday, October 15 Sunday, October 19 Wednesday, October 22 Wednesday, October 29 Tuesday, November 04 Monday, November 10 Tuesday, November 18 Sunday, December 07 Monday, December 08 Sunday, December 14 Monday, December 15 Tuesday, December 16 Bituwin - image Jeremiah 29:11. Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster,to give you a future and a hope.
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21 Jun 2007
A very critical and negative me
Ever since after my exams, i have been in this withdrawal symptom. Procrastinaing my resume, looking for jobs. When i "feel" like finding a job, i get pissed with myself. I have no career direction at all. I get very pissed and frustrated. All my frens advised me that to take things easy, coz the more tense i am, the more i cant see my career path at all.
I thought by going to gym will release all those negative energy. My body starts to break down. I began to fall ill repeatedly. Damn. I even forced myself to immerse in household chores coz i dont want to mope in the house. It will be worse. I began to have the question: "what if" That is simply just lame. I am impatient type. I want everything to be under control. But it seems that the more i want to control, it gets out of control. Learning to let go. I have been pestering pokemon especially. I betcha she is throwing fits for hearing me out, vomiting out those incessant complaints. I am the type that as long i get it off my chest, everything will be passed. No matter how good or bad... Maybe god want me to slow down, think carefully what path i really want to take. Savour each moment. After all, i will be working for the rest of my life. ISnt that so? HAha... It just dawned on me that, all my life, i have been trying so hard to be perfect in everything, expecting everyone to be as efficient as me. But things arent that way. But old habits never die, right? I always feel like breaking down. Feel out of place. I feel like escaping. No one seems to understand me how i feel. To be left out. Wishing to be somebody else. Sick of everyone around telling me that it is ok. But it is not alright. It is like left out in the dark. No one can save me. Welcome to my world. On the outside, i am cheerful , friendly, confident. COnsider myslef Charismatic? CHarming? Cracks out lame jokes, makes everyone laugh. Able to empathise people, convey what they are feeling. Console them with ease. Articulative? Able to accomplish tasks that i have with my utmost effort. But deep inside, i am insecure, moody, too sensitive Grumpy to my family members Always negative about matters Critical of myself and others Always think too much, end up worrying incessantly Cast people in bad light if i am offended Haa... there is always two side of a coin isnt that so? There is only one colour in my life, grey. Just that the shades would differ Depends on the mood and events that i am facing Usually it is a darker shade.... |